Quality vs. Quantity

long way to go



When I was first diagnosed I went the traditional route of treatment through doctors prescribing tons of medication without batting an eye.  One med failed after another and the docs just kept adding this or that and increasing the dosage of anything they could until I was on 144 pills a week not including my Remicade Infusions.   Then came the seizures and brain lesions.  Forced off all meds and left in more pain than I’d ever felt with no chance of conventional treatment I began to question my choices. 


Woulda Coulda Shoulda


I hear people say they want quality over quantity and at one point I may have agreed.  That was up until I had the option taken away from me.  When quality bit me in the rear and left me with nothing but pain and no way to manage it.  I began to evaluate what quality meant to me.  Was quality taking all those meds and feeling mostly ok (I was never in remission as some call it) worth what I’m left with now?  Maybe it should have been exhausting all natural methods first.  I now know I still feel mostly ok. 


I should not have assumed that quality could only be achieved with massive amounts of medication. 


What quantity I have left will be a painful journey with little independence.  So I feel I’ve lost both.  It was easy when I had the option to boldly state meds=quality and that was the only way for me.  When the sheet hit the fan though and I came face to face with the choices I had made and I realized I was wrong.  Hindsight is always 20/20.  I guess now it’s easy for me to say meds are not the only way to achieve quality after all I’ve lived them both now but had I taken the natural path first I would not be dealing with brain lesions and seizures.  That would certainly greatly improve the quality of my life. 


I am not saying that everyone should avoid meds at all cost.  We are all different and need to find what works for us.  I’m simply sharing what my experience has been in hopes it will help someone else.


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